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Do You Parent by Attachment?

My baby turned six some weeks ago and as you do, I had a look back to the day I did that pregnancy test and to my horror found that it was positive. I won’t go into all the vivid, confidence-shattering scenes that played out in my head while I sat on the edge of the bath tub holding death-staring at the offending stick and screaming for Jason to ‘get here right now!!‘ But if I could go back on time I would calmly grab my car keys, go to the bookshop, smile and pick up this book by my teen TV idol, Mayim Bialik. Remember Blossom? She has written a book on the subject called Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way. 

Attachment parenting. For or against?

Attachment parenting. For or against?

Attachment parenting (AP) is a term that started out it’s life cycle in the United States and has gathered steam here in the UK. In a nutshell, it persuades you as a parent to be confident to be naturally you.  It involves breastfeeding on demand, baby-wearing and bed-sharing.It encourages us to not deny our instincts but instead parent naturally. No mother really enjoys hearing her baby cry, so AP says, pick the crying baby up!

At the risk of being compared to the woman who assaulted the social media world by posting pics of herself breast feeding a puppy, I’ll go on to say let’s look to the animals for guidance. Okay perhaps not as far as eating your own placenta- not judging, just not for me- but take breastfeeding for example. Animals breastfeed on demand. They don’t go by the sundial. Or whatever the Rolex equivalent is in their kingdom. Their young snuggle up at will to their mama and mama lets them be. She doesn’t believe holding or snuggling ‘too much’ will ‘spoil’ her cubs. On the other hand we do not currently live like animals do.

Mothers today have careers, and life is very demanding and fast paced. We are also spoiled for choice or perhaps spoiled by the choices of patenting expert advice that’s out there. Our children go to school and need to have to have a bedtime. They have to grow up to be independent in this fast changing world. If I ‘wore my baby’ would that not be akin to rushing ahead into their future to molly-cuddle them as adults before they arrived there? And let’s not forget, we have hope to have social lives.

In case you are considering going the AP route, I do feel the need to point out that I once saw a woman whip out a potty for her little one in the middle of my town centre and proceeded to help her handle her business in full view of the befudled public. Yes, attachment parenting at its mildest state would involve you carrying a potty around. And there’s more, because if you were extreme you would have potty trained your child from a few weeks after birth since the said baby would have communicated to you and you would have learned EC. That’s Elimination Communication- in case you are wondering.

Are you an extreme parent? I am keen to find out which end of the spectrum you favour.

In the coming weeks we’ll have an attachment parenting advocate share her thoughts, as well as Supernanny advocate- sorry I’m all googled out today and I won’t attempt to find the correct antonym.

PS

I would like to go on record to declare my undying love for my boys, if I ended up with a 5th and a 6th I’ll still love them with all my heart and never have any regrets.

PSS

There shall not be a number 5 or a 6. Ever.

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